Last night, around 4 AM (which was actually early this morning I guess), I woke up with the eminent need to run to the bathroom and puke my guts up. But, as many of you know, I have an actual phobia of throwing up, and my body goes into a twitchy state to prevent me from actually doing so. So I called upon Good Looking in the middle of the night [morning] to comfort me, and he kindly did so like the amazing boyfriend that he is.
Well after taking some Pepto Bismol and calming my nerves, I decided to turn on the television to distract my thoughts. At approximately 4:30 in the morning, I didn’t have many options: infomercial, infomercial, or Food Network, which for whatever reason did not have an infomercial on at the time.
So I decided on the Food Network with some woman I had never before seen on said channel. Though I was watching the show with nearly no sound so as not to keep Good Looking awake, I could immediately tell that the entire show was amateur. When I first saw this woman, the show had just come back from commercial and she pulled one of those, “Oh! Hi! Good to have you back!” lines, while stirring her pre-cooked food that was probably prepared by someone else.
I watched her chop some bell peppers, put them in the frying pan, stir them once, then move on the the food processor to begin another part of the meal. After finishing processing a nasty green sauce, she returned o the frying pan to find her bell peppers magically finished on their own. So, the message I received was, “Don’t worry all you hard-working moms. You can certainly prepare my meals after a long day’s work because these meals actually cook themselves!”
Aside from the extremely fake emotions provided by the “cook,” there were more issues I had with this show. The camera man [woman] zoomed in as much as possible for every shot. ”Let’s make sure we can only see that peeled potato being chopped in the shot, and nothing else.” And as if zooming in way too much weren’t already enough, the camera man would continue slowly zooming in on each close-up of the food as if striving for some sort of dramatic effect – on food!
To top it all off, at what I perceived to be 5:00 in the morning, a message came on the screen at the end of the show saying “Good night, from the Food Network.” Wait a second, I thought it was the morning! Shouldn’t they be saying “Good morning, from the Food Network” and move back to actual cooking shows rather than moving from cooking shows to infomercials?
Oh well. After that, I watched a few different infomercials until I finally fell asleep around 6:30 in the morning, only to wake up an hour and a half later for class. I’ll write more about those tomorrow.
